Making this NOT look like dog food proved impossible. Photoshop Lightroom Fail.

For a change, I’m gonna tell it to you straight. No holding back.

I HATE Ethiopian food.

Enough to bold “hate”.

And the third time was definitely NOT the charm.

The first attempt was in Seattle, when I lived right next to the Ethiopian district. I felt like we were served bird like portions on a soggy, flattened-out seat cushion.

I later found out this seat cushion is called Injera and it’s their “bread”.

Now, I don’t wish to rip apart any culture’s customs or make fun of their ways, I’m strickly talking about my experience with the cuisine.

For some reason, not liking Ethiopian food always makes me feel racist.

My second attempt at Ethiopian was here in LA. We had about 12 people and ordered basically one of everything off the menu.

My recollection of each dish was the same: Gristly Meats in Oily Sauces.

Like the name of a rock band.

I couldn’t tell you the lamb from the chicken from the…is Hannibal Lecter the chef??

So, tonight is my third try. I want to like this place, I do. Inside is cute, cozy and charmingly ethnic.

Wait, was that racist?

The funny thing about many Thai or Vietnamese restaurants, is that the decor never feels Southeast Asian, besides a few random Buddhas. Often times, you feel like you’re in the stuffy breakroom of a factory. In the 80′s.

Ok anyway, tonight we ordered three things.

I’ll be honest and tell you the Sumbussas (similar to an Indian Samosa) were actually tasty. They were fried pastry filled with spiced lentils. They were the reason I bumped it up to the Two Bun rating.

Sambussas

The Kitfo, which is chili marinated minced beef (dog food), was a disaster.

It’s texture was this: put a sponge down a sink’s garbage disposal and then pour some beef broth down there. Then drain onto plate. Viola!

Now, I’m not trying to be a beef snob. I love me some Taco Bell Grade D Beef!!

The good news is that ground sponge has very few calories, so my waistline thanked me.

The collard greens were ok, but I grew tired of eating with my hands and I did feel fluish that night so it wasn’t really the best of nights for me to be out eating.

The company was lovely, I hope none of ya’ll are offended at my comments. I’ve never met a global cuisine I did not like.

I’m a big ‘ole pig and give all food a chance!

Ethiopia, I’m done with you.

So racist.