My friend, the Bread Guy, is trying desperately to get all his friends to start eating Vegan lately, after recently becoming one himself.
As much as I often enjoy Vegetarian and Vegan meals (do those words even deserve capitalization?), I don’t forsee myself turning into one of those people EVERYONE HATES! Love ya, Bread Guy.
IN OTHER NEWS:
A few months ago, my friend (Anonymous) got revenge on someone quite creatively, I needed to share it.
She met this guy on an online dating service and it was going well. Too well. He starts throwing the word “marriage” around almost instantly and even had her meet his folks.
Two issues: He lived an hour away and he had a kid.
A while later, out of the blue, he sent her a text saying that the mother of the child wanted to reconcile and that he thought it was best to try and make it work. Basically, nice knowing ya.
Anonymous, well call her Courtney, sent him a long email asking him to really think about this decision, blah blah.
About a month later, he emails Courtney saying how crazy that girl was and essentially asking for her back.
A week later, she prepares this elaborate taco bar dinner for him for a planned date and doesn’t hear from him all day. Not wanting to seem too desperate, she forgoes her usual 17 mandatory check in’s and confirmation emails/phone calls/texts and waits for him.
He never shows and never calls.
After she finally texts him asking what happened, he comments that he was too drunk to drive there but that he’d love to come for any leftovers.
She tells him to lose her number and forget about her.
The story’s not over.
She goes back on the dating website and creates a fake profile, Rebecca Johnson.
She creates a new Yahoo email address.
She remembers he likes Selma Hayek and finds a picture online of a lookalike as her profile picture.
Then she seeks out Jerk’s page and “winks” at him.
If you’ve ever dated online, you know exactly what that means…
He emails back and they start corresponding and finally she asks if he’s had any luck online.
“Everyone’s been so needy and desperate and wanted too much from me”, he responds.
They set up a date to meet, but she refuses to give him her cell phone number “My rule is to never give that out until I’ve met the person at least once”, she lies.
She Googles and finds a bar slightly near him but just far enough away that it’s a bit of a schlep.
He gets a babysitter for his kid and heads off to the bar.
Courtney never leaves the comfort of her home.
After waiting at the bar for a bit, he emails her “Uh, not sure if you’re showing but I’ve been here a while now.”
She waits a beat and says “So sorry, I got caught up at work and traffic was awful. When I went into the bar, I saw you sitting there and I have to admit, you’re not really my type. Just not a match, sorry!”
She never heard from again.
Watch out guys, if you ever encounter a mysterious “Courtney” online…