I’ve been pretty bad lately. Clandestine visits to drive-thrus. Eating fried, esoteric delights.
Like an addict seeking his fix, I’ve not had the heart to share many of these scandalous meals with my fans.
Meals so calorically dense, if my plane were to crash in the Andes today, no one need worry I would resort to cannibalism.
Today, I wanted to consume foodstuffs foreign to my belly’s current routine.
So I was punished severely with the MOST BORING SALAD I’VE EVER EATEN.
Now, I’ve had some doozy’s. Usually one’s I’ve made myself. I usually have to dump some refried beans on top to make it edible.
No beans were made available to me at the trendy and dull local chain, Urth Cafe.
“They have the best coffee!” people brag.
Yes, and the worst salads.
The dressing was supposed to be “Peppercorn”.
Let me assure you, no peppercorns were harmed in the making of this dressing.
I fear the cooks took turns sneezing on the salad; giving it that slight, gossamer dew.
To rectify the blandness I had subjected my system to, I went and devoured some ice cream.
The Lake Street Creamery ice cream truck was parked right out front of my office.
The picture below is an amalgamation of pancake, syrup, bacon chunks topped with coffee grounds.
It more than made up for the pathetic salad.
In flavor and calories.
However, I’m writing this in between sprints to the toilet. I’m unsure this summer treat was really meant for human consumption…much like my salad!